Been a long time

Been awhile since I've written here. I forgot I even had this. Killeen didnt work out. Last year I went to Illinois. That didnt work out. But I am doing better. Twice a week I work voluntarily at The Austin Clubhouse. I love it. I get to get out, be around people who truly understand me and my illnesses, and I dont feel like the odd man out. Danica just turned 6. I still sometimes look at her and am completely amazed that she came from me. Not to say we dont have our difficulties. This past year she was Diagnosed ADHD with ODD (oppositional Defiant Disorder) with Autistic tendancies (basically very mildly autistic). Right now we are dealing with a hearing problem her doctors refuse to acknowledge yet the school is even agreeing there is a problem. She has failed the hearing test in her left ear 4 times and now the school is offering to have a doctor look at it. I am worried about her. We were supposed to go see Ian from christmas but with all her health and mental issues I dont know if she can. I may not but thats because the state currently "owns" me. I am afraid he will think I am trying to keep her from him though if I tell him she cant go. I'm not though. I want him to see her. But I am really worried about her health right now. He has no reason to trust anything I say to him because of all my lies but I just dont know how I can assure him I really am thinking about her....I just dont know what to do.....